The Bus

Most days to get me to work i gotta catch one of them bus contraptions. Did you know that the double decker bus took inspiration from a car crash that left the involved cars one on top of another, as if one car was trying to mount the other and make baby cars, or go-kart's as they are more commonly know, (True story).

Anyways, although just a bus it may be, inside, oh inside there are so many diferent story's that can be told, but ill just tell you what my favorite part of the bus journey is and about a few regulars that get on it.

1.) The Funny Bit

Arguabley the most brilliant thing about a bus journey is when those sneaky old people are getting a free bus journey with their little gay cards that they all have, and i sit there envious as they get a free ride and im spending a good £2.90 that could go towards a sweet hazelnut hot choclate from starbucks, i just remember that i have something old people don't. What is it i hear you say? A un-wrinkled body? The abilty to drive over 30mph, no I have......... reactions.

First of all, they make the mistake of looking at my hair and realising it's got more voloume than their television set, which stooopidly waste's time, than they do the walk, the real slow walk to their seat and just as they make that painfully long half turn to sit down, VRRROOOOOOOMMM, off the driver goes and they are hurled into their seat faster than you could say "Flat caps ain't cool no more". I don't laugh out loud though, i save it, i let it marinate if you like into a sneaky chuckle which comes out when I get off.

The Family

Let me just mention i catch the bus at 10:29 most mornings and so i see these 3 and half peeps at around 10:45 at Loudwater. One greasy long haired crack head with some ridiculas looking beard which can only be described as some form of contraception, he's disgusting. Next is another man, just as greasy but a bit prettier, the mum a slightly frumpy 35 yeard old women, all of which are white, and their real cute friend a tiny half cast toddler with huge cheeky glasses, who i only sympathise for because bott the men she is with are currently drinking can after can of frosty jack's cider and as for the mother, well she aint got a scooby how to look after the little one.

The Best part however is when they get off at the rye the two intoxicated men forever battle with the fold out buggy like blokes from a carry on film with a deckchair at blackpool. And as the mum desperatly sigh's she opens up the babys bag, and thats when you worry as the bag is one third diapers and dummys, and the other side is just cider and whisky, poor thing, if you see them, you'll understand